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Monster in the Mirror Chapter One

Title: Monster in the Mirror

Author: marblemeadow

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Language

Written for theair_thesun fic exchange

Gift forgrrlinterrupted

Summary/Prompt: Quiet, sweet Quileute Bella finds herself changing in strange ways when she turns 17... her temperature is as high and unpredictable as her temper and she's terrified of what's happening. How can Sam(antha), Leah, Emma and Quinn help her? And what about the Chief of Police's lovely son, Jake? She's adored him in secret for years, but what are the chances of him accepting her now, as a werewolf?


Chapter One

I shake in my bed. Sweat rolls off my brow and I feel like I’m on fire. I feel awful – worse than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I hope Jacob will forgive me for dashing out of the movie theatre like that – I just couldn’t stay. My eyes kept losing focus and I was seeing double images on the screen. But at least I didn’t vomit while I was there – like that Jessica girl. I clench my fists thinking of that moron. She kept putting her hand on Jacob’s thigh, and resting her head against his shoulder all the while darting dirty looks at me. I could see that Jake was a bit uncomfortable by the way he kept moving over into my seat – but it was only to get away from her. Still – being that close to him was really nice – he smelled like pine needles, and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Of course, it was hard to focus on the good part of the night, while I was so fevered and nauseous. I’ve never had the stomach flu before.  

“Bella, honey. I’ve called Samantha Uley. She’s on her way,” my dad says quietly from the doorway.

“I think,” I gasp, “I need a doctor. Not Samantha,” I spit out. Why my father always looks to Samantha (why any of the elders do) is beyond me. She’s some kind of freak – wild and boyish, running through the forest with Janine and Paula like they’re wild animals. They’ve been known to leap off the cliffs (the very top) like its nothing. They’re a bunch of show offs. Around the campfire, they eat like they’ve never seen food before – worse than any boy.  And the very worst part of it –Emma was now tagging along with them. I couldn’t remotely understand it. She hadn’t talked to me in weeks. We used to be inseparable – and we both used to hate Samantha. Now she was acting just like them.

 “No. We need Samantha to get here as soon as possible. You’ll understand everything shortly, Bella. Just try and stay calm.”

I sit up straight in bed. “Would you just go away?”I’m shaking so hard my teeth are chattering.

He sighs and instead of arguing like I’d expected him to, rolls his wheelchair backward and then down the hall. I don’t think I’ve ever yelled at my father before. I should feel guilty – shouldn’t I?

But I don’t. All I feel is rage.

What feels like minutes later, I hear the front door open and the sound of footsteps approaching my bedroom.

Samantha Uley walks in like she owns the place and plops down on my desk chair.

I snarl at her. “Just get out of here. I don’t know why he called but just go! You’re not needed!”

Samantha lifts her eyebrow. “Let me be the judge of that.”

I bolt upright, trembling. “I mean it,” I bite out, “leave.”

“Come outside with me, and I’ll go,” she says calmly.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I spit. I hate her, just looking at her, smug, superior. It’s infuriating.

“Yes you are. Come, Bella. Emma is waiting outside. She wants to talk to you.”

The white hot rage inside quells for a moment. “Emma?”

I don’t wait for her to answer but drag my shaking body through the house and out the front door. I look around but don’t see her.

I whip around as I hear footsteps approaching me from behind.

“You lying bitch!” I shriek and I fling my body at her. I expect that I’ll hit her any moment but suddenly she’s moved (fast, too fast) and my skin splits all over and I feel this awful shift like the earth has lost its gravity, and I land, heaving, on all fours.

I look down at my hands, but they’re not my hands anymore. Giant paws, covered with chocolate fur are where my hands are supposed to be. I try to cry out but instead of the scream I’m expecting, a great howl, long and guttural fills the air.

Calm down, Bella Black. Steady.”

Panic, panic, panic, PANIC!!!

“Bella, listen to me. You have to pay attention now. You’ve phased for the first time. It’s not permanent. You’re still human.”

What? What do you mean? What’s wrong with me??? Panic panic panic….

Do you remember the Quileute legends?

What? What has that got to do with anything? What’s going on?

Focus. You’ve been told that the wolves are our kindred spirits. It’s true, what the legends say. That we’re shapeshifters.

Makes no sense, no sense, panic, panic, panic

 Calm down. You have the ability to turn into a wolf. But you’re still you. You can turn back.

HOW? Help me!!! Please! Panic panic panic…

Visualize yourself how you are as a human. Imagine you’re looking in the mirror. Look at your hair, your eyes, your lips, your shoulders, breasts, stomach, legs, feet. Do it now.

Mirror, black hair, russet skin, chocolate eyes, narrow nose, lips, bony shoulders… I can’t! I can’t!

It’s okay, Bella. Try again. Just keep trying. You’ll get it.

And she’s right. A few more minutes of focusing, and I’m me again.  I look down at my body – NAKED – I barely register the thought before I’m running into my house and slamming my bedroom door behind me. I’m panting, absolutely terrified. I pinch the skin of my arm, hard. But I don’t wake up.

In seconds, she’s behind the door, knocking.

“Bella! Look – I know that was scary…”

Understatement of the year.

“But you’re not alone. I’m like you – and Janine, Paula, and Emma. We’re all the same. Can you let me in? To talk?”

I look down at my trembling hands. Is it possible? Is she telling the truth? Didn’t I just experience it? Or have I completely lost my mind?

Feeling terror that I’ve never felt before, I open the door and let her in.

And everything changes. Nothing can ever be the same again.

Weeks pass.

I find myself taking a ridiculously long time in the bathroom in the morning. I stare at myself in the mirror. But not matter how long I look at the reflection, it doesn’t change. All I see is a monster.

Later that day my dad stops me just as I’m heading out the door.

“Bella – Jake keeps calling. I think you should call him back, even if it’s just to say goodbye.”

I sigh. “Just don’t answer the phone.”

I leave the house, and hurry over to Leah’s. It’s not a social call – no – it looks like a male, Leah’s younger brother Seth is showing signs of turning. Leah is frantic that it not happen but I don’t think it’s something we can control. But I have to wonder – if all of us wolves are female – then why a male among us?  

Later that day I’m walking back home to take a break. I’m starving and exhausted. The change hasn’t happened yet but it’s coming . We can all feel it when someone is about to change for the first time. I’ve been ordered to get some rest. The rain is falling in freezing sheets all around me but I don’t feel it. I don’t ever feel cold anymore. Rounding the bend to my house, I see a big red truck sitting in my driveway. I curse under my breath.

I pause, wondering if I should just avoid the situation and take off into the woods. But it isn’t fair to him.

I have to get rid of him – I have to push him away. It’s for his own good. He can’t be around me – he could get seriously hurt. Phasing isn’t something that can always be controlled. All that it takes to cement my resolve is looking at Samantha’s imprint Eemeli.   

Deep down I wish I could tell Jacob the truth – to share my burden with him. To talk to someone outside this ugly world of mythical creatures that aren’t supposed to exist. But I can’t let myself be so selfish. If hurting him keeps him away from this darkness, then it is worth it.

My feelings don’t matter anymore.

I march forward, angry that I have to even deal with this at all.

He’s standing on the porch and when he sees me, he runs forward and is soaked in an instant.

“I thought you were sick!” he shouts, his beautiful face turbulent with emotion. “You haven’t really been sick have you? Why are you ignoring me? What did I do to deserve this?”

I keep my face tight and as blank as I can. I need to be calm. I breathe in and out slowly.

“You need to leave here, and never come back,” I say as forcefully as I can manage, keeping my tone as neutral sounding as possible.

“Why? Give me one good reason!”

I clench my fists. “Because I can’t be friends with you.”

He looks hurt, and then confused. “But we spent the entire summer together. You were there for me when no one else was – when my mom died.” His voice cracks, “You promised me you’d always be there for me. Why is it different now?”

I close my eyes as pain rips through my chest. I did promise him. I was the one he confided in when everything else in his life had gone to shit. I was the one that he’d turned to – that he trusted. And even though it would kill me, I need to get him out of my life now while I have the courage.

“Jacob – please. Just go. And don’t look back.” I know that my words are too soft as soon as I utter them.

He’s always made me weak.

“No! Not unless you tell me why. Where is the Bella I know? The girl who can fix cars better than any mechanic? The one I spent all summer with, drinking warm sodas in the garage? The girl who made me a dream catcher to put over my bed to get the nightmares to stop? The only one in the whole world that makes me feel safe? The one that understands how it felt when I lost my mom because she lost her mom too!”

I feel tears gathering in my eyes. I angrily swipe them away. There is no answer.

He steps forward and pulls me toward him, his arms wrapping around my body. He stares into my eyes.

“Please talk to me. Let me help, whatever it is. We can figure it out together,” he says softly, running one of his hands through my hair. He stops for a second, looking at my head. “You cut your hair.”

Reality crashes down. All of us who turned have cut our hair as a symbolic gesture as well as a practical one. It marks us for who and what we are. We are no longer young girls of the Quileute tribe – we are protectors. I suck in a deep breath of air and commit utter blasphemy. “Get in your truck and go back to Forks. Don’t come over, don’t call, don’t text. Go home, Jacob.”

He drops his hands as if stung. He shakes his head, looking at me. “You don’t mean it,” he whispers, sniffling, rain drops falling from the end of his nose.

I look at him, staring at me so forlornly and something inside of me shifts. I’m dangerously close to caving in.

I’m saved by one of my sisters. Emma runs through a clearing ahead, her hands cupped around her mouth. “Bella! Come quick! It’s Seth!”

I turn to Jacob, all the weakness in me evaporating. “I have to go.”

He reaches for me but I’m already out of reach. I run from him, my heart bleeding and I pray that someday he’ll be able to forgive me.

Next Chapter

Please sign this petition! This is one of the most horrible, awful things I've ever heard of! It's barbaric!

In August 2007, artist Guillermo Vargas shocked the art world and animal lovers with his controversial "starving dog" exhibit in Nicaragua. The cruel exhibit involved tying an emaciated stray dog in a corner with no foodor water in an attempt to make an ironic statement about human callousness toward homeless animals. Patrons of Vargas' show were instructed not to feed or care for the dog in any way.

Circumstances of the exhibition are unclear, but many believe that the dog died a slow death from starvation.

In any case, photo evidence shows that the dog was clearly undernourished and forced to lie on an uncomfortable floor with no access to water while on display.

The Central American Biennial of Art has recently invited Vargas to recreate his famous exhibition using a different live dog. Please sign the petition toprevent another dog from suffering in the name of art.

If you have a heart you will sign this.

The link is here: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/476/619/334/

For Will Call Pickups...

In case I forgot to notify someone individually - I managed to get everything at Will Call. Packages will go out Monday. =)

Fandom Character Meme

Fandom Character Meme
Select a fictional character from any fandom you have that suits the following list. Think which one works for your personality.
For my answers I went with a variety of characters.  I went with those that first came into my head.
Character that would be your best friend – Angela Weber (Twilight)
Character that would be your romantic interest – Jacob (Twilight)
Character that would be your rival – Dolores Umbridge (HP)
Character that would help with homework –  Hermione Granger (HP)
Character that's good at sports - Cedric Diggory (HP)
Character that could get you in trouble – Fred and George Weasley (HP)
Character that would cook for you – Emily (Twilight)
Character that's good with computers – Data (Star Trek)
Character that you could tell a secret to – Bella Swan (Twilight)
Character that you could hang out with – Willow (Buffy)
Character that would be your neighbour –  Wilson (Home Improvement)
Character that you'd sing karaoke with – Spongebob Squarepants

Lily Update

Originally posted by ofenjen at Lily Update
Lily got to see a vet today and has had an exam, bloodwork and x-rays. She's been vaccinated and tested negative for FLV. All good things. Despite her injured leg, she is a healthy and incredibly friendly kitten. My sister said the vet had a hard time hearing her heartbeat because she was purring so loudly.

Now, here's the crazy part.

If you get angry easily, you better sit down for this.

The problem with her leg?

She was shot. Her tiny leg is full of shrapnel from the elbow joint down. It's likely she'll have to have it amputated.

I have no words. A kitten. SHOT.

She will have a consultation with an orthopedic surgeons soon to see what, if anything, can be done for her leg. The current estimate for surgery is $1500. That is just the surgery and does not include today's exam and tests or having her spayed, which sounds like it will have to be after her leg has healed.

In defiance of the completely heartless idiot did this to her we, my friends, will do our best to put this right. My sister and her husband are keeping Lily. She has a good home, now we just need to help her get the care she needs. I have pledged to help my sister and her hubby in any way I can so we can help Lily get better and have a healthier, happier life. Altogether, her fees look to be in the $2000 range. She is young, and other than her injury, she is healthy, and she is undeniably a people cat and is already responding well to the love and care she's receiving.

To every single person that has already donated to help Lily, I thank you and my sister sends her thanks. I can't even begin to express in words how much your generosity means to us. We've already raised $140 towards Lily's care, and that is in less than 24 hours. YOU ALL ROCK.

If you're just now finding this story and want to hear the beginning OR make a donation, you can click here for more information.


I'd like to come up with some other ways to help Lily. If you have a suggestion of something that we can do, please let me know.